THE DAY I MISTAKENLY “QUESTIONED” GOD

I was led to share this, and since God knows why He wants it shared, I am certain He will accomplish His purpose in the life of somebody.

Too many times we erroneously “accuse” God and grieve the Spirit but we do not know. While it is not wrong to ask God questions with regards to issues, this must however be done in all humility without any element of accusation. We should be careful when we go to God in prayers and say things like “God, why???” as if to say He owes us. Yeah, He does, but in this, we should understand the difference between ‘privileges and benefits’ and ‘rights’. Thank God for our redemptive benefits.

Now, back to my ‘sin of omission.’ It happened at a time I was having a prolonged personal fasting and prayer retreat (40 days), and during the course of this program I had a meeting I was to minister. And when the time came, God moved in His own way; mighty revelational words of knowledge and prophecies were evident and there was deliverance. Note that I said He moved in His own way, not my own way. But unfortunately for me, I was not satisfied with the power made available. I expected “bigger” things and special miracles. You can imagine how carnal and ungrateful the human mind can be; as if to say it was my own work I was doing and that I decide which way God will work.

While the organiser was shocked at the power of God and revelation, here I was ready to ask God why He did not do this and that. God have mercy! I got back, foolishly made some lists of questions, and went to God in tears and prayers, asking Him, “God, why???” What an error. I thought I was right and it was my right. I did not know that by this prayer of error, I had grieved the Spirit. What happened? He left or rather became quiet.

Brethren, please, let us be careful the things we say in prayers. It is not wrong to pour out our hearts when we pray, but we should do that in referential fear of God. God is a just God, He chooses what He will do, and He does whatsoever pleases Him. “But our God is in the heavens: he hath done whatsoever he hath pleased” (Psalm 115:3).

“Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few” (Eccl. 5:2)

“Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin; neither say thou before the angel, that it was an error: wherefore should God be angry at thy voice, and destroy the work of thine hands?” (Eccl. 5:6)

After this, I just noticed that I could not feel Him or His presence anymore. I became sober, empty and guilty. But I never knew that all these were happening because of what I did. It never crossed my mind. I was praying (and fasting) but never felt His presence. I would sit down and think perhaps I committed a sin, but I could not find any. So, I decided to confess any unknown sin...but the thing persisted. I informed a very close brother, telling him that God has been unusually quiet at those moments and that I was worried that He (God) was not talking to me. I told him that I had searched within to see if there was any sin I know of but  could find none I know of, and that notwithstanding I decided to confess both known and unknown sins. The brother tried to give his own explanation.

Then, God in His mercy and grace through His Spirit brought up this error I did and I was convicted. It became clear that I had grieved Him by questioning Him and in a way “accusing” Him. I became very specific in my request for forgiveness and in tears asked for mercy. And He is ever faithful, He forgave me, and the connection was restored. It is very amazing to be able to hear your Father communicate...so exciting and rewarding.

God is the owner of our lives and the work we do for Him. He chooses what He does with our lives and His work. We cannot love ourselves more than He loves us, and we cannot love His work more than the owner of the work.

“For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure” (Phil. 2:13).

“God also bearing them witness, both with signs and wonders, and with divers miracles, and gifts of the Holy Ghost, according to his own will?” (Heb. 2:4).

A TESTIMONY TO HIS GLORY

And then after this event, God came mightily and showed that He does whatever He chooses to do. This is a mighty testimony to His glory alone.

This man came to the hospital with acute-on-chronic urinary retention secondary to benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH), along with some other co-morbidities including diabetes mellitus. His laboratory tests showed a grossly elevated serum creatinine of about 7.1mg/dl (Normal range is less than 1.1mg/dl). I attended to him and did necessary medical intervention. I explained that his kidneys were already failing, etc. I gave him another medical appointment and left him on urethral catheter (a tube passed through the penis into the bladder for urine to be flowing through).

One (1) week later the man came back. He made some remarks that were strange to me. He said I am his healer (but I told him God is his healer). He insisted I must pray for him this time (I never told him I am a child of God). His catheter was leaking urine, so I removed it to pass another one, but all attempts to re-pass it failed...not even the consultant’s opinion would make the urethral catheter pass. I did not know that God was trying to make a point and restricting it from going through.

The man then hinted that it could be that God was behind the refusal of the catheter to go in. He then opened up to me how he had a dream about 2 to 3 weeks before he came to the hospital. In that dream he saw me (I had never met him before his dream) and was told in that dream to come to the hospital that this doctor will heal him. We were supposed to repeat the kidney test 2 weeks after his first visit to see the condition of the kidneys again. But just after 1 week, we repeated it, and the serum creatinine which was 7.1mg/dl had dropped back to 1.11mgdl (normal range). His blood sugar had gone back to normal. The man insisted that I left him without the urethral catheter that he believed he was healed already. As a doctor, I had to do the right thing professional and ethically. I told my consultant who was wary also and insisted we gave the man a particular drug. Then we agreed that the man should rush back to the hospital that same day once he became unable to pass urine again. The man said to me that the encounter with me and the prayers were all he needed and not the drugs. I let him go on his drugs, hoping to be called to the hospital perhaps later that the man had come back unable to pass urine.

Friends, he has never returned till today! This must be God; He chose when to heal and work miracle and not we choosing. Indeed I learnt my lesson...when I was perhaps asleep, he was working a miracle in a man’s dream. We must never question God because He is always right. To question our maker is like accusing the saviour of our souls.

God bless you.

Dr. Bukola Williams
TreasuredHouse Int’l. Ministries
-THIM-